You know, I opened this window to write nearly an hour ago.

Then I started looking at job sites.

I know you don't blame me.

I had a nice email when I woke up this morning from the guy from the job fair.  Unfortunately, it didn't say, "Come on in!  We'll take you!" but it was casual and friendly.  I enjoy casual and friendly.

I've been in overdrive since the job fair though; I think all those police and fire recruiting stalls urged me on.  I don't want to end up in a job I won't love.  I'm such a good worker when I'm happy with what I'm doing, or at least happy with the goal of the work.  I don't have to love every function - really, who loves tearing and stuffing name tags? - but when I understand that the name tags will go around the necks of excellent people I get to meet later in the week, well, it makes it a whole lot better.

Plus, if I am tearing and stuffing name tags, I can have a conversation with a co-worker.  When I am stuffing name tags, it usually means there is a conference in about two days, and I haven't said much more than hello to anyone in awhile.  Or, perhaps, "Please do X for me before I die."

Oddly, I would give nearly anything to be in that situation right now.

Wish me luck.

It's funny to think I wasn't blogging in 2001.  In truth, I didn't start until Februrary, 2003.  I did start a Blogger site before then, but I never really did anything with it. 

2001 was a year I should have blogged.  It started, really, in December 2000, when we buried my grandmother and I started my job at Evil Computer Training School #1, basically at the same time.  It ended in December as well, as most years do, when I took my job at Berkman.  In between there was Evil Computer Training School #2, of course.

That year I saw two layoffs, a ride in an ambulance to the emergency room, a breakup.  I broke up with a nice boy who wasn't right for me, and fell in love with a man who seemed right for me, but it wouldn't be 'til late in 2002 that I figured out I was wrong.  I was nearly raped by a co-worker from one of the Evil Computer Training Schools, when we'd gone to celebrate his birthday at a restaurant near the school.  And there was September 11th.

I can't exactly remember how I got through it.  I remember clinging to friends, and to lovers.  I bought a scratch ticket and won $500.  I swallowed my pride on a regular basis.  And I threw out a dress I used to love.

I did a lot of things very wrong, but when you're just trying to survive, mistakes are allowed.

I tried writing about that year, mostly in Memoir class back at Harvard with the lovely Sandy at the helm.  It's still vivid enough that I could get the details right even now.  But it's too big.  If I'd blogged it then, I'd have it all there in bite-size pieces, in parts I could manage one by one.  But now there's too much.  I know too much. 

Five years later and my life couldn't be more different (except the whole underemployment thing, but the reasons differ).  I'm headed to my 10-year reunion soon.  2001 saw the 5-year.  What am I going to say to these women?  I think that though my life has changed, I haven't.  I've just been more things, done more things.  And I'll have Joey with me.  He's big enough to hide behind if necessary.  But I think I'd rather yell than hide.

Yes, that is the rating I give it as well as its name.

I've been to job fairs before, so I didn't allow my expectations to rise too high.  Generally there are a couple of booths I'd like to visit and the rest is not for me.  This was definitely the case.  I was disappointed that University of Toronto was there to recruit students, not staff, but the man at their booth was very sweet and offered me a little friendly advice.  The real star of the day for me was the gentleman from CityTV/CHUM - we had a couple of laughs, one baseball-related of course - that's what I get when I say I'm from Boston - and I actually had the feeling he was enjoying what he was doing.  Not so at other booths.

At least I put on my nice clothes (even though my shoes tore up my feet a bit), got out there and talked to some people.  Any effort is good effort.

Last night was fun.  We'd never been to Spaghettioke before, Monday's not the best night in the world to go someplace where you're rarely tempted to leave before midnight.  But I'm not doing very many hours with Top 10 now, though I'm still working for them, and Joey is good at staying out late, so no problem this particular time.

Joey and I started off with Love Shack.

I'd dressed up a little, since I was going through my summer clothes and wanted to wear some to offset my beloved Chucks, and I did something I haven't done in years.  I wore pigtails.  So, I had to sing...

Mickey.

I didn't plan to, but what the hey.

And then Joey did Add It Up, and that was so much fun (I generally hold the second microphone for the accordion when he does a number).  Immediately thereafter, when I was still out of breath from singing along to that one, I sang

The Warrior.

The only place I'd ever sung that song before was the shower.  But I think it went well.  Dave, you have to get up here soon, I'll sing it again for you.

Excellent company last night as well.  The spaghetti wasn't too bad, either.

We used a new appliance last night - busted out our gorgeous Cuisinart blender for some milk-and-ice with booze drinks.  After watching my oldest nephew pick his nose and eat it, and then try to wipe his hands on me, and really working hard at not screaming "That is repulsive, small child!" (I did say something; I'm incapable of completely shutting up, but I didn't actually yell) I needed a strong beverage.

But we did have a nice weekend.  We went to the Good Food Festival on Saturday where we purchased many spices, then to Rannie's opening of course.  Friday night Maria had us over for dinner, which was lovely, but apparently my boobs expanded in the low pressure environment of her apartment.  Holy crap.  If they really look like that, please never ever tell me.  I would be under the knife in about five minutes.

Yesterday we were pretty lazy - I read an entire book - and then we had family dinner.

Tonight we'll hit Kickass Karaoke.  Because when you're underemployed, what could be better than $2 spaghetti and singing?