It's funny to think I wasn't blogging in 2001.  In truth, I didn't start until Februrary, 2003.  I did start a Blogger site before then, but I never really did anything with it. 

2001 was a year I should have blogged.  It started, really, in December 2000, when we buried my grandmother and I started my job at Evil Computer Training School #1, basically at the same time.  It ended in December as well, as most years do, when I took my job at Berkman.  In between there was Evil Computer Training School #2, of course.

That year I saw two layoffs, a ride in an ambulance to the emergency room, a breakup.  I broke up with a nice boy who wasn't right for me, and fell in love with a man who seemed right for me, but it wouldn't be 'til late in 2002 that I figured out I was wrong.  I was nearly raped by a co-worker from one of the Evil Computer Training Schools, when we'd gone to celebrate his birthday at a restaurant near the school.  And there was September 11th.

I can't exactly remember how I got through it.  I remember clinging to friends, and to lovers.  I bought a scratch ticket and won $500.  I swallowed my pride on a regular basis.  And I threw out a dress I used to love.

I did a lot of things very wrong, but when you're just trying to survive, mistakes are allowed.

I tried writing about that year, mostly in Memoir class back at Harvard with the lovely Sandy at the helm.  It's still vivid enough that I could get the details right even now.  But it's too big.  If I'd blogged it then, I'd have it all there in bite-size pieces, in parts I could manage one by one.  But now there's too much.  I know too much. 

Five years later and my life couldn't be more different (except the whole underemployment thing, but the reasons differ).  I'm headed to my 10-year reunion soon.  2001 saw the 5-year.  What am I going to say to these women?  I think that though my life has changed, I haven't.  I've just been more things, done more things.  And I'll have Joey with me.  He's big enough to hide behind if necessary.  But I think I'd rather yell than hide.