I did promise I would write about Boy X, didn't I?  Well, a friend of mine is having trouble with an ex right now and this stuff is on my mind, so now is a good time I think.

I think my breakup with Boy X would have to be: I dump him but he thinks he dumped me, and then we have a couple of "oops" nights and then we stay friends but awkwardly.

Averaging things in relationships is funny.

I think I'm pretty lucky in that one of my ex-boyfriends became one of my best friends on earth, and now he's a friend of Joey's and mine, which is most excellent.  I stayed good friends with another ex for a long time, we've kind of fallen out of touch over the last year though - he didn't much care to hear about my wedding, I think, and that was totally fine.  But other guys from my past, well, it can be too painful to stay friends.  I miss one of them despite myself - despite knowing that the friendship probably couldn't be productive since there's still some anger remaining, and despite the anger itself.  I imagine we'll see each other again, still lots of connections, but it's just too difficult for us to be friends, for various reasons.  I miss his family, and some of his friends, and they could possibly see this entry, and I hope they remember me fondly too. 

But my life is elsewhere now, and I just have to put it aside.  I'm allowed to think about it, but I try not to dwell.  I'm married, I have a whole new existence in another country, I'm looking for a job, someday we'll buy a house - and these men, except for Dave, aren't the present.  When Joey and I got together I was finally able to recognize a good relationship and hang onto it.  No exit strategy necessary.  I hope everyone gets the chance to be sure about someone, it's a very good feeling.  I have doubts about things all the time - did we make the right decision to live in Toronto, what are we going to do about X,Y,Z - but I never doubt that Joey and I are perfectly matched.

I hope my friend never settles for less than that.